Leaving the zone

Sometimes you have to move some steps back to see the surroundings in the picture. After watching the picture which was always painted only for me I have moved away from it. I still have all those things I had but life has created some distance between me and 'my things'. My parents, my home, my friends, my places of hanging out with friends, my city and my comfort zone.

Due to my wonderful parents, I always got what I deserved and for the time I was living with them, I was one of the happiest sons who had liberty of hitting the balls in the air but with assurance that no one will be able to catch those. The day I decided to leave Mumbai to be employed this happy son started understanding that he might have been happy with what he got, clothes, toys, education he still missed the company of people whom he didn't choose to be with and never imagined to be with. To share things, to suppress your desires for other's sake, to wait for your turns and to eat the food not ordered only for you, are not everyday rituals for a single child. It needs some learning.

Today, I have got brothers, guides and teachers in the people I spend my day with, at home, at office, at playground. Today somewhat uncompromising person in me is making way to the person who loves to share, who loves to learn, who loves to take orders from others, who loves to be the subject of harmless humor and who loves not to be single child despite being one for 22 years. Who were these people when I was walking at Shivaji Park holding my father's hand? Who were these people when my mother was feeding me rice when I was recovering from my routine illness? Who were they when I was catching the flight to Mysore to earn the money on my own? But today, I find my strengths; I see my weaknesses and share happy moments with all those.

This life is different. This life is showing me that there are many things that people do from so close and this life is telling me that if you think that you can do that thing, you will actually end up doing that. This life is different because you are on your own, you don't have caring hands of mother and helping hands of father with you all 24X7, but still you have people with you who without their knowledge, giving powers to your hands to be your mother and father. Each Tiffin box that you clean by yourself, each garbage bag that you dispose, each shirt that you press tells you that you are just like the others and are no longer blessed by the God to receive infinite love that your mother possesses for her child each day in and day out.

At the same time, each tennis shot you hit across the net, each shuttle that hits the ground of opponent's court, each post you write on your blog, each hill that you try to climb are because these can't be fed to you by your mother and can't be bought for you by your father but achieved by you by seeing others doing it or failing to do.

Even to learn from others' mistake you first need to get out of your zone, you need to reach out to others, you need to see them do things and then you need to do those things!

Get out of your shell to see life is much more than those walls filled with all the love and protection. Life can be spent by living in the zone but life is learnt by leaving the zone!

Satellite

Three years! I have given three years of my life to this company! I have made my life a satellite of this company! My life revolves around and sometimes gets eclipsed as well. Does the moon feel like it is there at his fixed path because of the Earth? And if he decides to leave his big brother it will be lost like a rock travelling aimlessly in the universe ready to be sucked in by same other foreign body.
Food that I eat, bus that I ride, chair on which I sit, things that I see, sounds that I hear have this company's stamp on them. My day starts with the beep coming from swipe machine missing this sound makes me guy whose status is unknown. I have already made myself comfortable living in the conditioned world where neatly combed hairs are more important than fresh air for which my lungs are dying for. I have given myself a number which helps people to decide the amount of respect they should give to me. My thoughts are bounded by policies and my window to the world is restricted by work hours. I can't even do my work if my coding tool doesn't auto complete my sentence. My 'thanks' to someone are as meaningless as his 'welcomes' to me.
My aspirations are data for Aspiration Tracking Tools, My long day in office ends with a justification for taking a seat in a late night bus, my route to survival are blocked by client compulsions but my machines are backed up to save my copy pasted dead code. My hard work of a year is nothing if I waste 3 attempts to numerically prove my knowledge.

My life is revolving around my company but why is it not crying for the azadi? It will never, because it's learning it's learning each and everyday. It is learning what to do and what not to do. It is meeting people, lots of people and lots of wonderful people. Good looking, smart, intelligent, talented, multi talented, excellent managers, technically brilliant programmers, movie buffs, sports fanatics, lazies, cruels, pessimists, fitness freaks, flirts, committed, people enjoying life, people blaming others for their own inabilities, people working to earn paisa, people working as their passion, people working to get good ratings or working just because they have to work somewhere. My life is watching people leaving, it is watching new people coming, it understands that other moving trains give you feeling of going ahead and it tries to persuade itself to believe in it.

My life gets happy when it sees sense of appreciation on the people's faces, when it sees that it is hot property in the market, it gets sense of pride when someone considers it good just because of his employer then it also plays its part in the game to praise his company to retain self value, it adds to the flurry of praises towards its founder to give itself the sense of being blessed by the almighty.

And then it waits for the countless opportunities waiting for him. One day it will decide to go for them. One day it will spread its wings and will run towards the horizon to take off, to reach the heights. That day it will understand that today it is flying because he waited on the firm ground to strengthen his weak wings. It always wanted to fly long and not early.

Thanks Infy for everything you gave me!

Somewhere Down The Line

Somewhere down the line I would love to love someone would love to be loved but it's fine for me even nobody loves me because somewhere down the line somebody will teach someone to love me!

Somewhere down the line I would love to be a free bird and to roam around the world but it's ok even if I don't become because somewhere down the line I would manage to climb the ladder amongst all this chaos and will have my own car and own home to know that I have changed my definition of freedom!

Somewhere down the line I would love to take up the people's cause and to work for the poor but it's ok even if I don't manage because somewhere down the line I will understand that working for the poor was to enrich some other kinds of poor

Somewhere down the line I would love to be successful but it's ok even if I don't because somewhere down the line I would know that once you reach the success it no longer remains a success but a prerequisite of next success.

Somewhere down the line I would learn to see the world in more beautiful way but it's ok even if If I don't able to because somewhere down the line I would know that some more important people are doing it already!

Crossroads

Life is at the crossroads. Everybody's life is at the crossroads! Whereever I can see I can see people trying to figure out a way, forget about bad or good, all they all want is a way. Everyone wants to move ahead but all the roads are looking the same. Some of them are thinking the road they have taken is bumpy but yeah they are sure this will lead them to one beautiful avenue of hope and dream. Some thinking their road is beautiful and all they need to is to pump some fuel so no one can stop them! 'I am already on my way to dreams!' Failing to understand that their car is being driven by someone sitting on the back seat! Well, these twenties are tricky. They really are!

All are looking for someone. No one is sure whether they really want it but everyone is searching something. What am I doing? Am I looking for someone? Yes! I am! But am I in desparate need? No, I am not! Then am I really looking for someone? ummm! Man you confused me! Really! What the hell! I am bored of being confused!

All are trying to change themselves to get something they don't have! Man! I need to change! I definitely cannot compete with these super species around me! I am the ugly duckling! But hey hang on! Do I really need to change? I am also unique like everyone else! I have my own set of pluses! But are my pluses as good as his? ummm! Should I change? Or should I improve?

All are trying to learn new things! hmm! I am the only one who is sitting idle! Com'on! I am gonna learn something! But hey learning is what I was doing for last 20 odd years! Then what's new in that! For all these years I learnt and learnt! Now the time has come for me to do nothing! Perhaps I should learn to enjoy! Gosh! Again learning!! God Please save me!

They say twenties is THE time in your life! Well, yeah it is! Suddenly my brain has started sending pulses million times faster than it has sent all these years! Work, life, education, sports, responsibilities, fun, support, advice, betrayal, success, heartbreak, love, hope, dreams, money!

Well, all the decades of my life have booked their seats in these poor little twenties! My twenties are choosing my future for my eighties!

Nothing to Write!

For last four days, I am trying my best to write something but it looks like words which usually hover around me like garland sellers outside a busy and in-demand temple have deserted me like ad agencies whould leave a fallen star.

I asked many, demanded a good and intersting topic on which I could write. Someone said, 'You can write about relationships'. What can I write on relationships? For me relationships are like those beautiful Mercs kept behind a glass wall which I can only watch from outside but can't feel . Someone else said 'Write on Tibet Matter'. Naah! I am not in the mood to write on such high and cold place and issue too! I don't think my writing is gonna help anyone to understand or resolve that issue. Some big fish has gulped a smaller one and other people want that to be freed. Even if they have swallowed many with great pride in the name of their constitutions. It's game big countries like to play often.

One chap said, 'Try writing about your friends!' Hmm! that's an interesting suggestion! But when I talk about real people I usually make fun of them eventhough I myself is great raw material to write humour on! So it's not funny to make fun of others.

Someone said, 'Hey! Write anything but not on Cricket!' Gosh! This was hard to digest! I always boast about my great cricketing knoweldge! I can give big lecture about playing cricket to the best of the cricket players! They create statistics and then I talk Statistics! Frankly, talking stats is better! Form doesn't affect your performance in doing that! And now people don't even want me write on it! It's like asking an opposition leader not to boycott the parliament session. It's his bread and butter. He cannot survive without that.

So today, I am writing about nothing. It's a great feeling when you can write and still about nothing. Just like Sidhu! He talks and talks about nothing. Like Reshammiya! He sings and sings about nothing. Like Aaj Tak! It gives news but news about nothing! Like all of us! We are living but living for nothing!

Behaving like Amitabh Bachchan!

After the series of serious mails let me share some light moments!
Well, it is related to a great friends of all those who drive (most of the time BUMPER to BUMPER)! On one fine day I was driving my Maruti van from my college (near Priyadarshini..don’t ask the locality it is on no man’s land…on the boarder of Kurla, Wadala, Chembur, Chunabhatti and Sion!!!) to Santa Cruz airport to receive my parents! This ultimate incident happened at the signal where roads coming from Chembur and Chunabhatti meet! I was accompanied by my friend Prabhat who always looks for somebody who can drop to him at his house at Sion). We were just talking with each other and suddenly I saw that signal changing to orange. And rule loving driver inside woke up and I applied breaks….but as the car was coming to halt I realized that I had crossed the signal post and currently I am in the square so again continued driving. And then there was a dutiful constable guiding me to the side of the road. Why did you jump the signal you look like well educated and all such things!
Prabhat started telling me ‘Yaar jada kuchh bol mat jo maang raha hai who dede!” But I cannot agree to other if I know I haven’t done anything wrong! So I started reminding him few rules! ‘Mama, rule no 122 says if you have crossed the first signal in any square and if light turn Orange then you need not stop!’ Mama went mad, his volume increased..’I am doing service for last 18 years and you are going to teach me rules!’ he shouted! I stuck to my stand…’Rule No………!’ Then they changed their stand ‘If you have stopped the car why did you start it again?’ I had an answer for this also…’I didn’t want create a jam so in a way I helped you!’ This verbal fight lasted till full 10 minutes! In the mean time Prabhat was continuously telling me ‘Yaar aage mat badha..sorry bol aur chal!’ But I was not in the mood to listen!

In the end group of contables gave up their stand and returned my license back to me saying…’Apte saheb you are behaving like Amitabh Bachchan!!’

Satyamev Jayate!

Best Mate...Ameya

Don't know why..but suddenly I thought I should write something about my best pal Ameya! Well...we are together since last 16(?) years! We never were and are friends who like to express our thoughts about friendship...we will never say to each other that we are best mates or never send each other a card or give a ring on friendship day we will never keep reminding ourselves that the other one holds a special place in our life but we still know that we have very deep and strong friendship.

We have very strange and different definition of friendship. Friendship with some distance friendship with some personal space to the other but when things are need to be said we will say it. We may not talk only between two of us while with whole bunch of friends but still I know if anybody is there to share our my mind he is Ameya!!

I still remember the fair and shy guy in my class with whom I didn't talk much for first 3-4 years of school...we started talking freely I guess from third standard. We both were class toppers for first two standards that could be the reason. One day he invited me to play cricket at his terrace (Magchi gachchi..as we call it!) And that day marked the beginning of our ever strengthening friendship.

People used to call us ‘Magnets’ as we always used to roam, do some mischief, play cricket in pair!! We always used to class monitors as well. One year he used to be chief and I used to be his deputy and the next year other way round..with no hassles at all! As we went on becoming older new friends kept on adding but with all due respect to them none of them could match Ameya.

Yes there were some Downs as well which are and should be there in all relationships. (I feel Downs in any relationship helps the persons involved to know what could get wrong and they can rectify the mistakes done!) But I don't want to recall them here!

You know I believe likes dislikes and such things which look like less important in the relationship are in fact extremely important when you start building a new relationship. Know why? Because these are the things which bring like minded people closer leading them to understand other's feelings and emotions without speaking a word! Same thing happened with Ameya. Cricket the ultimate love of both of us brought us closer. I should thank Cricket for this!

Well..I can keep on writing on this subject for hours and hours..but need to stop! I may add few thoughts later!

By the way I am sure if he reads all this he is going to term me biggest fool in the world. And his words will be 'Kahihi kaay lihitos? Ved laglay ka tula????'

Simply God!

Past few days were really tough for me...I learnt a lesson from an issue which did not involve me but yes, I did pay for it!
The lesson is there are enough people on this earth who don't want to see you happy or successful and are just waiting for right opportunity to make their move. And after they do their bit it is up to you to decide how to react. Whether to yield to the pressure or to keep on fighting especially when you know nothing wrong has been done!
And the man who suffered is my God....Every cricket lover who doesn't follow just emotions will agree with me He is God! Yes Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar is the God! Not just because he has loads of talent, determination, team spirit and more importantly tens of thousands of runs but because he changed the face of Indian and hence world cricket! Bringing money is just a part of the whole but telling every other Indian that ‘We are no less! We can do whatever we want if we have faith in our abilities!’ is the greatness of the man! Well, the main point of discussion is ridiculous comments like 'He never was a match winner' is just a joke! People who just see ball going to the boundary and 4 runs added to the scoreboard will never understand what match winning performance means! Scoring runs in final inning is not a single parameter of a Match Winner. Runs scored in each inning of a match is equally important! If Sachin has average of over 60 in first inning of the match and India still fail to win the match it's not a fault of Him but the others are to be blamed! He is going through worst phase of a life but that doesn't mean that we have the license of denying his past glories!! Don't act childish!! Making rude comments is not going to make you Cricket expert! For me and for millions of us He is simply God! And he is not going to yield to the pressure! He is not a quitter!

In the heart of India!!!

Those three days of my life gave me answers of many questions i used to ask myself.
Why India still called by outsiders as poor?....Why these 'Bhaiyyas' come to mumbai to make it worse to worst?......

Well those three days i traversed UP and that too in that part of the most populated state of India which is supposed to better than other parts of UP gave me glimpses of shocking rality of India outside Mumbai!!

From one town to other.. no roads, no sanitation, no well constructed structures (sorry i can't call them buildings!), and poverty everywhere! The only building i saw in great shape was of the rulling party. And offcourse the hordings praising the MLA or MP were seen everywhere even in front of the 'Dancing Sadak' as rightly called by our driver.

I think the elected representatives are concerned with glorifying thier own image rather than providing most basic facilities to their people.

One thing i noticed in that trip is the better condition of Uttaranchal State which was carved ou of UP 4 years ago. This suggests that smaller states can improve thigs which is going to benifit India in larger way! Statistics shows UP by itself has the 7th largest population in the world!! So how can a chief minsiter govern such a huge population with efficiency? Answer is split the state!

It's Over!

It had captured my mind.. my soul.. my body for 4 long years!
It was truly a rollercoaster ride!
And today suddenly it is not there!
It's strange feeling. Till last night i was waiting desperately for this moment...but now I am feeling like losing something dear to me!
Yes, I am talking about engineering!

Salute to BE Comps Unity!

Yes, We believe in acts and not in just great slogans!

Today what everyone did for Purshottam is truly an act one must salute! Well, what happened should not be written at this place but still I think Purshottam deserved second chance. He is one of the few BE comps who has genuine knowledge of what he studies! Once again I highly appreciate the act of BE Comps and College Administration!

By the way, I am feeling a lot fresh after giving the great shot at 'Distributed Computing' paper; one of the most fearsome syllabus of entire enginnering course! After gaining Himalayan experience of engineering exams I can say one thing, when you expect easy going they make sure that you will struggle for every mark and other way round!

So, this is the last week of Engineering( Hopefully)! Expect many more posts from me in following days!

Bye for now!

My Debut

Today i just went through Mandar's(My class head) blog and thought " Why I never think of these stuffs?" Just surfing the net for hours and hours gaining nothing is not good thing to do ! So today i decided whatever happens I will open my blog what will I do with it in future I don't know but let's give a try. Who knows this will become a bridge between me and my friend after leavibg Mumbai in September.

So let's start it with:

"SHRI GANESHAY NAMAH"